6 months on T , the reality

Starting Testosterone was a further step in my transition I knew I needed to take. Yes I had had top surgery first and only a month after surgery I started T. I'm sure some have said why so fast, why all at once? Well for me it wasn't fast, I had waited since the age of 8 for this moment. For me it was now or die tbh.

When I 'came out' as non binary trans Masc I wasn't sure if that was right, I wasn't sure if I was still saying and doing things for others. Now I know I was. I was also dealing with the internal transphobia I held about myself because that is what I had been taught. I had been taught that my feelings were stupid, invalid, I was delusional for feeling that way. Then the name calling, the rejection, I was not sure if it was worth fighting for, if I had th inner strength to be truly me, to face the bigotry and hate , to challenge my internal taught belief system. 

But I was strong enough, I am proud of myself, I know the time was now to finally be free; to take on my internal battles and live my life as I have needed to be for so long.

So starting T was a step I needed. Not every trans person uses hormones, not ever trans person has surgery, but I have.

Testosterone has been interesting. I never realised some of the things that would happen because they are not spoken about openly. So here is my take on some of the things I have experienced.

Why do guys not cry? It's a thing, the feelings are there but the tears do not fall. They do sometimes, but not easily. So if you ever wonder why boys don't cry, we do but it may not show in the outward way we have understood as sadness.

One of the first things I noticed when starting T was my body odour change. Wow. Yes there is a huge difference between sweat smells and boy can I get bad and need to ensure I was daily and use a good deodorant.

Foot and finger growth. Yes it's a thing. My knuckles have got wider, I can't wear a ring on a finger I purchased pre T, it has to go on another finger. My feet have grown from an 8-8.5 to a 9. The toes ache as they grow. 

Bottom growth, by that I mean clitoral growth. My growth has happened fast, the daily discomfort, the tenderness is still occuring. Not as intense as it originally was , but it's there every day. With that sexual urges , they increased very early on, but have lessened which is actually good. I did not like the feeling of being constantly aroused at the slightest thing.

Hair has changed, I have hairy arms and thighs. I found some butt hair this week , which I was sad about but you can't pick and choose what you get. 

I'm much calmer, I don't get the rages I used to. I used to be really bad with road rage. Now I just call people fucking idiots and move on. I don't get the internal intense feelings of rage.

Jaw shape change. That's been interesting as it hasn't caused any discomfort, it's just like it's appeared and I'm transforming in front of my eyes.

Facial hair has been interesting. My top lip and chin has started to form. As female I always had chin hair , now I like it , embrace it. I'm looking forward to the day of a decent amount of facial hair.

Lastly my voice. I was never a high pitched female, however it's dropped several octaves and now I don't hear it like I used to. It used to sound like someone else was speaking. Now it's me.

So these are some of the changes I have experienced in a very short space of time. Personally I think it's because I had gone through menopause and my body was just so ready. I don't know if it's a thing that changes can happen quicker if you have reached menopause as this is another thing not spoken about.

We need to have these open conversations about what the real impact is. What the changes you may see are. Not everyone experiences the same, however let's start having these conversations.

Let's celebrate Pride 2025 with openness about the reality of starting hormones. The impact on what it's like to live and learn to embrace ourselves. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️