It's the little things

When you finally becjome your authentic self you start to notice differeunt things abouet how people interact with you, well I have, maybe it's my hyper focused mind.

It has become so   that on different settings I am being treated differently, and I had some real gender affirmin8g moments at the 

festtival this weekend.

Firstly there were a few people attending the festival who are aware of my deadname, I didn't expect to see them, but I did. However no one referenced that name, well they also didn't name me, which is fine too. They didn't misgender and took me as I was, which was nice and just gave me a sense of acceptance.

Everyone else attending only knew me by my name , when I told them they didn't challenge, say anything weird but just accepted my name as my name. These tiny things matter. This matters.

The amount of times I got called miss, she, her , lady, was the usual off the scale, however when I was called  'mate, pal and he' the smile on my face would have said it all. These little gestures make all the difference.

I am aware a lot of me still appears more feminine in appearance and that is why I was so excited to receive the call from my GP when I was away supporting my referral to the gender clinic and would support shared care for Testosterone. Yes I said testosterone to those who may not have considered this. You see I am on the road of discovery and I know I am non binary trans masculine, which to me means I need more masculine features, hips , muscle definition, face shape. It's not about genitalia it's about how I feel about my body and where I see I fit. 

I fit with the, I'm ok with my vagina, however the rest needs to change and tops surgery and T is the way forward.

There is one area that does concern me however and it's not to do with me, but how others will perceive me and the Trans hate being spouted by certain politicians.

The toilet issue was not a concern  whilst away as they were just toilets, you use them and leave. ( another win). But in the real world toilets are frequently binary gendered, which makes it difficult for the likes of me. If only a toilet could just be that and we move on, how simple would that be eh?

I never felt I would get to the point of sharing this journey and being able to achieve my goal and I am in the way in doing this. For those who just don't understand, don't try , just listen and hear what people say, we know how we feel , whatever our ages. It took me from 8 to 51 to get here because my time wasn't then, however I have always known. My time is now. 

#TransYouthAreLoved