New beginnings and endings.


The 2nd October may seem insignificant as a day to you readers, but for me it signifies change. 

For the first time in our 9 year relationship Sarah is going abroad, alone, an 11 HR flight to see her friend. The relationship between us has ended as a marriage ,but we remain living together for now; and just because it has ended you don't stop caring.

So why is this date important I hear you ask? 

Well it signifies the end, not just for me, of our marriage, but also for Clare as we knew her.  CHé has been here and is evolving, but for some reason the two journeys of marriage and transition seem linked at this time, both changing.

Sarah and Clare are leaving , both returning, but different.

Ok so you may not understand the significance, I can't expect you too. The relationship between CHé and those people has been a nine years and fifty one years respectively. Neither times are short , and neither insignificant.
Both have seen happiness and sadness and at this time I am going through the various stages of grief and loss. Although neither party has died, nothing will be the same again. This is the significance of October 2nd.

So this weekend I celebrate Clare as she was, I also say goodbye to her and to that 51year chapter in my life.
I am moving forward with my life as CHé , one I have dreamt about for so long, so much longer than anyone really understands. 

So as I prepare for my pending top surgery and the starting of testosterone, the euphoria I feel when talking about this is immense, mixing this with the sadness of everything else is a bit of a mind fuck and has been a challenge. I can see my future. I'm going into this new phase in my life being open to my emotions, wanting to grow as CHé and be the best, most authentic version of myself, the person I have wanted for so long.

So I thank Sarah and Clare for those memories , and welcome CHé , looking forward to making memories with those on this journey with me. I thank those people who have been on this journey with me for more years than I care to say, those who have become friends on the way and new friendships and relationships as I grow.

Here is to CHé and the journey in which we head into 🫶🏳️‍⚧️



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