Post surgery update and starting testosterone

Having top surgery was the most gender affirming thing I have done for myself on my 51 years on this planet.
The euphoria I felt when touching my chest for the first time and looking down is something I will never forget as I look down every day in awe at what my surgeon has achieved. Gender affirming care has meant so much to me and I find myself lucky to have been able to progress without NHS support this far, many cannot.

We are now in week 3 , and I think my eyes show the happiness I feel looking at my chest as it flattens , the bruising is easing, the post op swelling reduces and I see the scars form.

I'm still on the road of recovery and for me the hardest thing to manage has been the sheer exhaustion. I don't think I have ever rested or slept so much. 
The emotional overwhelm the day after surgery was big. I think it was a huge release of all the years of pent up emotions coming out. Since that release I have become calmer and able to enjoy my euphoria.

So over the next two weeks I will continue to follow the orders of the surgeon to wear the binder 23.5 hrs a day, to keep mobile but listen to my body. 

Not only have I had surgery but I started Testosterone on Monday that has been interesting. I have a gel , 1 pump a day, I have to put on my skin. That will increase after 4 months to 2 pumps. This is privately funded and I'm hoping the GP will agree shared care or I will need to find an ongoing £180 a month for this treatment, which I can't afford financially, so keep all crossed for me. 

From the day after first use I got an intense clitoral throbbing. For those not aware a clitoris is the penis, so many nerves go deep inside. Us trans folk go through second puberty and growth surge happens of this part, I will leave that to your imagination!! I will say that on day 5 there is no let up on sensations, it's pretty amazing really. 

So yes CHé transition is truly underway, am I happy, omg yes I am. 
I will continue with updates of progress. 
(flat chest 🙂)

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