Healing, my journey

Starting my transition was the start of my healing journey. The start of self acceptance, the start of tackling my inate transphobia of myself. It was the start of challenging long held beliefs I thought were true , however I learnt these beliefs from others. They were learnt, but not true.

It hasn't been an easy process, by far. The rollercoaster of emotions is real.The physical pain one can feel through emotional pain is real. Until I have been able to face these things head on, consider them differently and do some real work on myself I have not been able to change things; Until now.
 I was blocked from change because of my mindset, my mindset had me stuck in the life I believed I was to have. How I took on others words as mine. I have learnt so much in a short space of time, it at times feels surreal. Why has it taken so long. Well as I said once before the time was not then but now.

My time is now and for my 52 birthday I went away , alone , for the first time in my life. I walked miles, wrote, read, danced to music, ate great food, met some amazing people and had time to reflect.
For my birthday I had Healing with Alex my coach. I knew when we met for the first time there was a reason. The reasons keep unfolding. He has tapped into something deep within , something that has helped me see. See things in a way that needed to be seen, to challenge preconceived thoughts, to look at things differently and to work with him to feel the healing offered to me. It was such an amazing experience, I am still astounded by how I felt from it and how I'm continuing to feel.

The second thing I gave to myself was a massage by a therapist specialising in Trans therapy and has the skills and knowledge to offer a post op massage that fitted me perfectly. Silk Brighton are fabulous, and I will visit Anna again someday soon.

What a beautiful way to spend my morning, which led me after to food , a walk on the beach , before heading back to my lodge for a restful evening.
I read lots, wrote , and feel I have grown so much this weekend spirituality, emotionally and my personal growth will continue.

Yes things won't always be easy, yes I remain on the rollercoaster of life, however I feel more in control of the speed and velocity the ride is taking me. I feel ready to embrace the changes that are coming and live as my authentic self more and more. 



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